This morning I woke without anguish. That is not to say I'm my usual self today...but I am functional, and I'll take that.
There are so many things I've had trouble remembering. I just hope with time and rest (and the memories of my friends) I will be able to recall more of the little things that elude me now. For instance, Lauren and I had a running "list of firsts"; all the things that she did for the first time while with me. Now I know we had more than one (not a great list when there's only one item). But as luck, fate, stupidity would have it, the only "first" that comes to mind happened while she spent Spring Break '06 with us in KC. It was like this...No one wanted to go to the store for supper items so we worked only with what we had on hand...breakfast stuff. A breakfast for supper was not completely foreign to any of us and I knew the kids would eat well. I scrambled eggs, David got drinks, Chris set the table, and Lauren was in charge of pancakes. How much fun all of that was. Everyone bustling in the kitchen together. There was so much laughter and everything smelled awesome. The kids were bouncing around and excited...a really warm memory. Then Chris began giving Lauren a hard time about her too-brown pancakes. Of course, I said they looked great (really wishing they weren't quite so brown) and she said they were pretty good for her first time. "What?! You've
never made pancakes?!" A unanimous decision followed: these pancakes were divine.
That was practically our whole spring break. Just having fun in each other's company. I initially felt bad that I didn't take her out to "do" Kansas City. She insisted staying home relaxing was exactly what she needed...and we did have such a great time. I put her bed in the family room (which became known as "Lauren's room" to my kids, even three weeks after she had left). One morning, I came downstairs and climbed in bed with her. She turned on the TV and there we stayed. Around three in the afternoon, we looked at each other and asked, "Should we get dressed? It
is 3p.m." "Nah...we'd just have to put our pajamas back on in a few hours." ...Oh, I could always breathe around her. The contentment and peace I felt in her presence was unmatched by any other friend in recent years. Adrianne is the only one who could come even close and I've not seen her since her wedding.
The last time all the girls went out together was at La Mesa in Sherman, TX. As time had passed and girls graduated, we all moved in separate directions. So, for all of us to meet in one location, for one evening...this was huge. The conversation turned, as it usually does with a group of childless young women, to future baby names. Lauren wanted a daughter named Elijah...but I can't remeber her son's name. Maybe soon it will come to me...I'm hoping. How surreal it was for the same group of girls (with one or two exceptions) to all be together again, only for Lauren's funeral barely four weeks later.
Well, I need to go. So much more to say, but children beckon. So far, this seems to be helping. Will write more soon.
Peaceful day...
"Girls' Night Out"This picture was taken at La Mesa in Sherman. The hostess (who was none too happy about being demoted to photographer) took this pic. I asked if she could take one more because I thought my arm looked too big--and it never hurts to have an extra picture taken.
From left, back row: Me (in glasses), Lauren, Amy P.
Front row: Lindsey, Amy B., Stefanie AF., and Stephanie F.
Not pictured: Jamie (she had homework).
"Girls' Night Out, Too"
Back row: Stephanie F., Me, Amy P., Stefanie AF. Front row: Lindsey, Lauren, Amy B.
So this is the second picture we took. Yeah, take a look at Stefanie. I showed my husband this picture and he said, "That's a pretty riduculous face she is making. I'm not even sure how she got her face to do that." The reason? Everyone opted to change sides for the second picture and during the re-arrange, Stef kept getting bumped further and further over til she was exactly where she started. In what was probably not her best decision of the evening, she chose to "ruin" the picture since she hadn't made it to the other side. When I saw the preview on the camera, I told everyone we needed another do-over. The hostess had already scurried off and Lauren, who was half-way out the door, tossed a comment over her shoulder saying, "We're just gonna have to Photoshop her in."
Forgive me, Stefanie...I love this shot. It makes me laugh everytime I see it. ...Still friends?