Dreams of Dreams

I dreamed about Lauren for the first time in a long while. I didn't even remember it when I woke up but had a bit of a flashback from it during the day. There wasn't much of it left but I did remember some.....I saw her, she was smiling and peaceful. She was wearing something kind of like robes, maybe...it's hard to tell. I knew she couldn't stay long and I rushed over to see her. At some point she was seated. I sat down beside her and laid my head in her lap...I was sobbing. I was overwhelmed at getting to see her and hurting because I knew she couldn't stay. Then she was walking around and people started coming up to her from all directions. This following grew, much like I would think one might have formed around Jesus. I don't remember her saying anything at all, but she was peaceful, calm, pleasantly smiling. Everyone wanted to be near her. I think I may have been jealous at first, but then I knew I didn't need to be, she would have time for me as well. For some reason, I remember being under football stadium bleachers. We weren't really, but that was the idea I got. That was all I could recall. After I remembered that much of it, I tried and tried to remember more...but couldn't.

*****

Randy left Jamie to pursue Nikki....and now Nikki and Jamie are friends. Funny how that works sometimes. Jamie feels lost and heavy. I can clearly recall a time when I felt the same. I love her and miss her...and she knows. She said everyone will wear pink and green ribbons at Homecoming and they will observe a moment of silence. For the ECU game, which is also senior day, the powers that be are supposed to call Lauren's name along with the names of the other graduating seniors and have another moment of silence. God, I hope so. I really hope they do. But, it's Southeastern. I'm just not going to hold my breath.

I wonder how Jon and Sheila are doing. They should be moved into their new house by now. I hope all of that is going well. I am excited and sad for them. A new house is wonderful, but sometimes, moving on hurts and can bring doubt.

I would love for there to be a kind of public forum for friends to record and catalogue their memories of Lauren...One in which we could all contribute and all read. I'm not sure how that would work exactly or even if it's a good idea. I just now thought of it and so I haven't gotten too far with the details.

David is home from his gig now. I'll write soon.