The Lines are Drawn

Last night, it was determined I would not be able to visit Lauren's family after I finish camp at Burk. The original plan was to teach my flag camp at Burkburnett (suburb of Wichita Falls) then go to Plainview and spend time with Sarah and Lauren's parents. Sarah would pick me up Wednesday at the close of camp and we would be on our way. Two whole days of being in the presence of Lauren's family -- I could hardly wait. But it just isn't the right time and I am significantly bummed about that. I know the right time will come, I just wanted it to be now.

So, on our way to Sam Moon, Lauren and I coined the phrase "Laurening around" or any variation thereof. That day, I charged myself with the assignment of having a "Lauren" day. What does that mean precisely? The definition we developed while in the car, lost, but still on our way, went something like this: To Lauren, verb: Having a goal in mind and accomplishing the goal, but embracing and truly experiencing everything that happens along the way; especially pertaining to unexpected events that would otherwise disrupt and/or delay the completion of said goal. In the simplest of terms, having fun every step of the way...no matter what. I was content with that definition. It seemed to sum up everything that was Lauren to me; fun-loving, carefree, and rarely flustered...always taking things in stride. I knew this needed to be a personal goal for me, too. (I struggle frequently with chronic acute "mustbe-incontrol-ofitall-itis".)

I began to feel the urge to Lauren my way through life shortly before David had his gig in Commerce, TX. We weren't sure how anything was going to work out financially, time-wise, or anything. I just knew that it would all be taken care of and I needed to relax. Everything worked out smoothly, of course, and I was grateful and thanked God for the blessings. Then, while still in Durant, Lauren and I decided to go to Sam Moon and my entire schedule cleared almost instantly. David (not having left for Commerce, yet) would watch the kids and everything else fell into place, too. I knew God had ordained this outing to Dallas (yes, I am saying God wanted me to go shopping...sort of). We called at least four other people and invited them, but no one could go. No matter, we knew we were perfectly capable of a fantastic time all on our own. (We even joked about how hard it must be for our friends who had to spend their summer working or in class...How awful!) I confirmed that she knew how to get there and she said she'd already glanced at the map (foreshadowing). Then, without worry or concern, we were off...

In the car, we laughed and talked about everything imaginable, or otherwise. We decided she would have a clothing line called "Lauren Day". It would consist of pieces that had been ripped up and torn apart then resewn and worn in ways they were never intended. I said it would be a fave among the coolest high school kids in town. (~"Hey, mom?! Have you seen my Lauren Day jeans?" the Homecoming Queen yelled over blaring Metallica before heading off to school in her daisy- and heart-embellished Jaguar.~) And while we were in the car that beautiful day, I told her, in a brief moment of depth and soul-baring honesty, she was the best friend I had. The sentiment was sincere and I know she was affected, but neither of us could stand the too gooey, heartfelt mush. As quickly as the moment had appeared, it was giggled away with banter of neither of us being ready for such a committment. (~Lauren: "Whoa...Hold on, there. Ya know, we don't need to go defining anything just yet." Me: "I knew it. I knew once you had my heart you would drop me like a rock. I've seen it too many times!" Lauren: "This is all goin' pretty well without any labels on it. I just don't feel like being pushed into anything right now."~) Despite the comic relief, I was content that she knew how much she meant to me.

The excursion continued with us both believing we should have long since seen Sam Moon. But we decided to try a little further. ...And then, there it was...The mileage sign for Waco.... Maybe, we had gone a bit too far. It was late in the afternoon, we'd clearly missed our destination, we were both hungry, and now we needed to get directions and head back the way we came. Oh look, Jack-in-the-Box...Perfect.

We did finally come to land on Sam Moon and, much to my dismay, didn't really find anything. We went over to Sam Moon Luggage to look for a footlocker-sized duffle back for my roommate, Chris, who needed it for work in Alaska. Jackpot. We found the perfect bag. Now our trek had not been fruitless. That's not to say we found nothing to purchase at Sam Moon for ourselves, just not as much as usual.

The hard part, it would seem, was now over. We knew exactly how to get back to Durant -- 35 to 75, no problem. Yeah...right! When we got to Denton (some 45 miles out of the way) we called Jamie. "Hey, Jamie!" I said laughing hysterically. "Where are you guys?" she asked. "Denton! Because that's how you get from Dallas to Durant...through Denton, right?!" I said, still laughing uncontrollably. "LAUREN'S DRIVING, ISN'T SHE?!" Lauren easily heard Jamie from my headset. We laughed so hard I'm surprised we didn't swerve off the road. An hour and a half later, all was well. We were back in Durant and I had successfully experienced my Lauren day. I didn't fret about all of the time we lost on the road, or the gas that was wasted, or the limited time spent at Sam Moon, or anything...not a worry in the world. All I did was have fun.

I understand now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, all of the time spent in the car that day was given to us by God. We got lost -- twice, even -- because He knew this would be my last opportunity to spend time with her alone. He had set aside these special moments just for us...just for me.

I am now discovering our definition of "Laurening" was flawed. Yes, the general structure of the definition is correct, but there is a much deeper meaning that neither of us identified. To "Lauren" just means to trust in God through every daily action, to believe in Him, and have faith enough to allow Him free reign over all aspects of your life -- without fighting for control every step of the way. That day in the car, we were totally safe and under His wing. He was in complete control and in our hearts, we both knew it. Lauren had given herself to Him wholly, without restraint. She allowed Him to place her where He wanted her, and He worked in her life. I now recognize my urge to spend more time "Laurening" as my heart's desire to have God work in my life. I've been a Christian as long as I can remember, but this is different. It started as a whisper, then became a nudge, and now I feel as though He is tugging at me, willing me to let go of my life and give it to Him. At present, I battle my own resistance as there are daily power struggles between my heart and my mind...It is so against my nature to relinquish control. However, because of my amazing opportunity to see God actively working in Lauren's life, I have a renewed resolve to allow Him governance over my life.


Thank you, God, for Lauren.























I took both of these at Sam Moon Luggage to show Chris, my roommate, the styles of duffle bags he could choose. When I told him I'd be sending over pictures for him to see, he wanted me to make sure there was some way to judge the actual size of the bags. Lauren graciously offered to model and he chose the black one. Ever so cute, indeed!